I’ll be honest: the words “unconditional love” still make me think that sounds fake, but okay, but mostly my rational self gets the idea: people who genuinely love me won’t stop loving me if I play out of tune sometimes, or if I spend an entire month without saying a single witty thing, or if I write something embarrassing, or if I act like a dumbass.
Hmmm. I both agree and disagree with this. Or, hmmm. Unconditional love rings false to me too, because I don't think love should be unconditional -- I don't think you're obliged to love someone regardless of how they treat you. You're not obliged to love someone who's careless with your emotional or physical needs.
But at the same time, yes, love isn't conditional upon meeting behavioural standards or a certain level of success. Love isn't a reward for getting an A+ or being a perfectly mannered member of society. Love accepts that we are people, that we are imperfect, that we do our best but we get tired and sad and angry and don't always make the best decision.
I don't know the words to separate the two concepts in my head, but that's why "unconditional love" rings false to me.
I would never have understood that, to anyone who has ever reblogged a “you are loved!” post, this post sounds like “fuck you and your love.” And I guess part of me wants to say: I get it. I get it, but also, OP, look into therapy.
Good advice. And also weirdly satisfying to look back at 25y.o. you and be able to see the growth that's happened since then, the concepts you understand now that you never would have seen back then.
no subject
Hmmm. I both agree and disagree with this. Or, hmmm. Unconditional love rings false to me too, because I don't think love should be unconditional -- I don't think you're obliged to love someone regardless of how they treat you. You're not obliged to love someone who's careless with your emotional or physical needs.
But at the same time, yes, love isn't conditional upon meeting behavioural standards or a certain level of success. Love isn't a reward for getting an A+ or being a perfectly mannered member of society. Love accepts that we are people, that we are imperfect, that we do our best but we get tired and sad and angry and don't always make the best decision.
I don't know the words to separate the two concepts in my head, but that's why "unconditional love" rings false to me.
I would never have understood that, to anyone who has ever reblogged a “you are loved!” post, this post sounds like “fuck you and your love.” And I guess part of me wants to say: I get it. I get it, but also, OP, look into therapy.
Good advice. And also weirdly satisfying to look back at 25y.o. you and be able to see the growth that's happened since then, the concepts you understand now that you never would have seen back then.