ok so this is a story about the time Charlie Brooker watched an episode of The Bubble while he was having really bad insomnia and two things happened:
(1) the sound of David Mitchell’s voice did something to the space between his shoulders and all of a sudden he felt like he could go to sleep
(2) he heard Katy Brand describe David thus: "[his shallowness] is one of the things I like most about him. Once you throw morals out of the window he becomes like a sexy bond villain" (actual quote!)
And then he fell asleep, and dreamed he was in a Bond film called The Garden of Earthly Delights, being held captive (and tied up??) by the villain, who was both played by, and based on, David Mitchell.
My favourite part of this story is when Charlie realizes he has a massive erection and that it must be COMPLETELY VISIBLE because of the way he’s tied up, and then panics because David will see it, but then a few seconds later he experiences wild, crashing relief because oh thank god, this is just a dream. But THEN that relief also only lasts a few seconds because he’s suddenly overcome with sadness because oh. This is just a dream.
hypothetical fic about David Mitchell, villain of your dreams
(1) the sound of David Mitchell’s voice did something to the space between his shoulders and all of a sudden he felt like he could go to sleep
(2) he heard Katy Brand describe David thus: "[his shallowness] is one of the things I like most about him. Once you throw morals out of the window he becomes like a sexy bond villain" (actual quote!)
And then he fell asleep, and dreamed he was in a Bond film called The Garden of Earthly Delights, being held captive (and tied up??) by the villain, who was both played by, and based on, David Mitchell.
My favourite part of this story is when Charlie realizes he has a massive erection and that it must be COMPLETELY VISIBLE because of the way he’s tied up, and then panics because David will see it, but then a few seconds later he experiences wild, crashing relief because oh thank god, this is just a dream. But THEN that relief also only lasts a few seconds because he’s suddenly overcome with sadness because oh. This is just a dream.